How to Talk to Your Kids About Lockdown Drills: A Parent's Guide to Preparedness Without Fear

Talking to your child about lockdown drills means explaining, in language matched to their age, that adults at school have a plan for emergencies, that the drill is practice for that plan, and that their only job is to listen and stay with their teacher. Done well, the conversation lowers anxiety rather than raising it, because it replaces a child's imagination with a small number of concrete, manageable facts.

Almost every American parent now has this conversation, planned or not. During the 2022-23 school year, 95 percent of public schools reported that they drill or plan to drill students on lockdown procedures (National Center for Education Statistics). Your child will practice one this year. The question is whether they hear about it first from you, calmly, or afterward from a classmate on the bus.

What is a lockdown drill, and what is it not?

A lockdown drill rehearses a procedure: get inside a room, lock and cover the door, move away from windows, stay quiet, wait for an all-clear. It exists because the same procedure works for a range of emergencies, including a police pursuit near campus, a dangerous animal on the grounds, or a chemical incident in a hallway.

A lockdown drill is not a simulation. The joint best-practice document from the National Association of School Psychologists, the National Association of School Resource Officers, and Safe and Sound Schools recommends a "no drama, no trauma" approach, with drills announced in advance and matched to the developmental level of the students taking part (NASP and NASRO, 2021). Students, the guidance notes, primarily need to know how to follow the instructions of a trusted adult.

That distinction matters at home. You are not preparing your child to make tactical decisions. You are preparing them to be calm, to listen, and to know that the adults around them have thought about this.

How do I explain it by age?

Ages 4 to 7. Keep it to fire-drill framing. "Sometimes school practices going outside quickly for a fire. Sometimes school practices staying inside quietly instead. Both are just practice." Do not introduce the idea of an intruder unless your child raises it, and if they do, answer only the question asked.

Ages 8 to 11. Children this age already know more than parents assume. Be honest and bounded. "Schools practice locking the door and staying quiet in case something unsafe is happening nearby. It is very unlikely, and practicing is how we make sure everyone knows what to do." Name the helpers: teachers, the front office, school resource officers, police.

Ages 12 and up. Teenagers can handle, and generally want, a real conversation. Talk about awareness rather than fear: knowing where the exits are in any room, taking an alarm or unusual announcement seriously the first time, and not spreading unverified information on social media during an incident. This age group is old enough to understand what separates a drill from real preparation, and that understanding tends to make them steadier, not more anxious.

What should I actually say, and what should I avoid?

Three habits make these conversations go well.

1.         Lead with the plan, not the threat. Children take their emotional cue from the adult in front of them. If you open with what could happen, that is what they retain. If you open with what the adults will do, that is what they retain instead.

2.         Answer the question asked, then stop. Volunteering more detail than the question required is the most common way a calm conversation turns frightening.

3.         Normalize the feeling. "Some kids feel a little nervous during that drill. That is normal, and it goes away. Tell me if it does not."

Avoid incident statistics, news footage, graphic hypotheticals, and promises you cannot keep. "That will never happen here" is a promise. "The adults here have a plan and they practice it" is a fact, and it is more reassuring because your child can verify it.

What should I ask my child's school?

In our thirty years of training organizations to survive violent events, the parents who get the most useful answers ask specific, procedural questions rather than general ones. Consider asking:

•           Are drills announced in advance to students and staff, and are parents notified afterward?

•           Are drills developmentally differentiated, or does every grade run the same drill?

•           Is a counselor or school psychologist involved in planning and debriefing?

•           What is the reunification plan, and where would parents be directed to go?

•           How do staff receive training, and is it a briefing or actual practice?

A well-run district will already have answers. If the answers are thin, that is useful information too. Districts that take this seriously invest in staff capability first, which is the foundation of how schools build a serious safety program rather than a compliance exercise.

What if my child is anxious afterward?

Watch for changes in sleep, appetite, school refusal, or a return of behaviors your child had outgrown. Most drill-related anxiety fades within a few days. If it does not, tell the school and ask that your child be prepared differently next time. Schools do make accommodations, including advance notice to that student.

Keep your own consumption of coverage away from young children. Ambient adult conversation and background news are frequently the actual source of a child's fear, not the drill itself.

Frequently asked questions

At what age should I first talk to my child about lockdown drills? Before their first drill, which in most districts happens in kindergarten or first grade. At that age the conversation should be brief and framed alongside fire drills, without introducing the idea of an intruder. Ask the school when drills are scheduled so you are not caught off guard.

Do lockdown drills traumatize children? Announced, developmentally appropriate drills that do not simulate an actual event are not considered harmful by national school-safety guidance. Unannounced, high-realism drills involving simulated gunfire or actors are a different matter, and the NASP and NASRO guidance advises against exposing students to them.

What if my child asks whether someone could really come to their school? Answer honestly and briefly: it is very unlikely, and that is exactly why practicing is easy to do calmly. Then redirect to the plan and the adults responsible for it. Avoid absolute promises, which children detect and distrust.

Can I opt my child out of a lockdown drill? Policies vary by state and district, and many states mandate drills by statute. If your child has a diagnosed anxiety condition, contact the school counselor and ask about accommodations such as advance notice or an alternate location rather than a blanket opt-out.

Should I teach my child to run or fight? No. Young children should be taught to follow the instructions of the adult with them. Older teenagers can benefit from age-appropriate awareness training, but the decision-making layer belongs to trained adults, which is why staff training matters more than student drilling.

Talk to us about training the adults

Children do not need to carry this. The adults around them do. If you lead a district, run a childcare center, or manage a youth program, we can help you build staff capability that holds up under pressure. Contact A.L.I.V.E. Active Shooter Survival Training to discuss a training program for your organization.

About the author

Michael D. Julian is the creator of the A.L.I.V.E. Active Shooter Survival Training program and has more than 30 years of experience in security and investigations. He served as President of the California Association of Licensed Investigators from 2005 to 2015 and has trained schools, healthcare systems, houses of worship, and corporate teams across the country. Connect with him on LinkedIn.